The Autumn that appears as a Spring...Before you Fall in Love

  If you are an  average looking girl, a boy from your class or neighbour, will appreciate you a lot. The dictionaries of human relations call it 'flattery', artifical praise. If the boy is smart in talking he will pass innocent coments with a mishceivious flavour to draw your attention.  In the world of cheaters it is called 'flirting'. Millions of girls across the world , have slipped into these pits and found it difficlut to come out . They discover that those roses were thorns in disguise. 

   Why should you fall in love?  What will you get after exchanging your heart in return of  pain? 

    In seclusion, as well in crowd, you will be  living with sighs like a crazy insane. You will feel lonely even in a gathering, just thinking about him. Trodding on such dreamy  paths  , you rarely reach your dream palace. A Broken heart, a  shattered dream,   a feeling  of betrayal,  and self condemnation as an award for your folly await for you. 

    How many expectaions from him ! How many late nights ! How many long waits poking tireless messages ! It will be too late when  you realise that these walls are not of bricks but sands  and can crumble even with  a puff. 

 Then one day he will say " Pardon  me ! I will pray for you that you get a better boy than me. You see my Mom is not agreeing to our relations and I cannot disobey my mother because it is a sin " Your dream castle was made up of sand.  It will be like someone has pushed you down into a lonely valley with nobody to share your agony. One day you may discover that he is into another affair. You are replaced by another prettier girl. Now you will look into the mirror and aks your self " was I really as beautiful as he praised me earlier?"  The reply of your mirror will give you an extreme inferiority complex about your looks. 

    The pain of heart cannot be understood by others around you. No thermometers can give you the temperature nor can any cardiology test can inform the world what pain a broken heart undergoes. When the next spring arrives, it will bring nostalgia and  only warm tears, wasting your time, wasting your life in memories of your EX-DEAR. 

     You may call him ungrateful, untrustworthy and curse him for days but  weren't you ungrateful  and untrustworthy when you quitely slipped out with him without your parent's approval or knowledge, and they kept on thinking that your are extremly modest. Were you not wrong when you secretly messaged him romantic messages and remained busy chatting with him when your poor mother needed you in domestic help?  

  Dont forget that every one cannot get the  Moon but if you observe self restrain then Allah may give you soon. If you love the world for your beloved then you may loose your akhera. But if You love Sabr over sins then it is the promise of Allah that you cherish. The choice is yours.. Remember " Allah intends easiness upon you, He does not intend  to put you into difficulties..( Surah al Baqarah verse 185 )

Nisaar Nadiadwala  can be responded at nisaar_yusuf@yahoo.com

ETIQUETTE & IMPORTANCE OF HIJAB / ABAYA / JILBAAB / BURQHA / PARDA

Exposing yourself to the world is prohibited in EVERY RELIGION, no matter what faith you have. 

***IN ISLAM ***
The hijab is, first and foremost, an act of worship that women engage in, and an obligatory act undertaken to seek the pleasure of one’s Lord.
Muslim women are required in Islam to cover themselves whenever they are outside of their homes or in the presence of non-mahrem men. This provides many benefits to the woman herself as well as to the society as a whole
The word hijab is derived from the Arabic root hajaba, which means to hide from view or to conceal. Hijab is much more than a headscarf: it is an entire way of dressing, behaving and believing
It is indeed the case that many sisters are completely ignorant about the conditions of the legally valid hijab, and hence it is incumbent upon all of us to raise awareness of the legal conditions and features of a correct hijab. Knowledge is the cure for many of our mistakes. 

In non Islamic countries we witness various types of un-Islamic hijabs. Tight Jeans long leather high heeled boots and tight shirts with a head scarf are all typical representations of the kind of hijab that is now being promoted by many young and middle aged Muslim women. Today the way many Muslim women adorn the hijab defeats the whole purpose of hijab itself.
1. Proper hijab dictates that the entire body must be covered, although the face and hands may be exposed. However some cover themselves further by means of a face veil and gloves, and this is perfectly fine.Pants are unacceptable unless they are worn underneath the outer garments.
2. Colors and styles should be as plain as possible so that unnecessary attention is not drawn to the woman. In addition, the clothing should not be excessively rich and fancy in order to gain admiration nor excessively poor and ragged in order to gain sympathy. Modesty is the main goal.
3. Make-up does not matter unless it is completely covered by a face-veil & halal ingredients are used)
4. A Muslim woman who wears hijab should also strive to make her actions consistent with her dress with regards to Islamic guidelines for speech, manners and behavior.
The Conditions of hijaab: 
1) (It should not be an adornment in and of itself).“… and not to show off their adornment.” [al-Noor 24:31]. The general meaning of this phrase includes the outer garment, because if it is decorated it will attract men’s attention to her
“And stay in your houses, and do not display yourselves like that of the times of ignorance” [al-Ahzaab 33:33

2) (It should be thick and not transparent or “see-thru”)
Transparent clothing makes a woman more tempting and beautiful. Concerning this the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “During the last days of my ummah there will be women who are clothed but naked, with something on their heads like the humps of camels. Curse them, for they are cursed.” Another hadeeth adds: “They will not enter Paradise or even smell its fragrance, although its fragrance can be detected from such and such a distance.”(Narrated by Muslim from the report of Abu Hurayrah).
3) (It should be loose, not tight so that it describes any part of the body).
The purpose of hijab is to prevent fitnah (temptation), and this can only be achieved if clothes are wide and loose. Tight clothes, even if they conceal the colour of the skin, still describe the size and shape of the body or part of it, and create a vivid image in the minds of men.So the jilbab must be wide. 

4) (It should not be perfumed)
There are many ahaadeeth which forbid women to wear perfume when they go out of their houses. 
Abu Moosa al-Ash’ari said: Muhammed (PBUH) said: “Any woman who puts on perfume then passes by people so that they can smell her fragrance, is an adulteress.”
Moosa ibn Yassaar said that a woman passed by Abu Hurayrah and her scent was overpowering. He said, “O female slave of al-Jabbaar, are you going to the mosque?” She said, “Yes,” He said, “And have you put on perfume because of that?” She said, “Yes.” He said, “Go back and wash yourself, for I heard Muhammed(PBUH) say: ‘If a woman comes out to the mosque and her fragrance is overpowering, Allaah will not accept any prayer from her until she goes home and washes herself.’”(Gusal)
The reason for this prohibition is quite clear, that women’s fragrance may cause undue provocation of desires. The scholars also included other things under this heading of things to be avoided by women who want to go to the mosque, such as beautiful clothes, jewelry that can be seen, excessive adornments and mingling with men. 

5). It should not resemble the clothing of men or non believers.
Abu Hurayrah said: “Muhammed (PBUH) cursed the man who wears women’s clothes, and the woman who wears men’s clothes.”
‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Amr said: I heard Muhammed (PBUH) say: ‘They are not part of us, the women who imitate men and the men who imitate women.’”
‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Amr said: “Muhammed (PBUH) said: ‘There are three who will not enter Paradise and Allaah will not even look at them on the Day of Resurrection: one who disobeys his parents, a woman who imitates men, and the duyooth [cuckold,(the husband of an unfaithful wife.) weak man who feels no jealousy over his womenfolk].”

6) (It should not be a garment of fame and vanity).
Ibn ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: “The Messenger of Allaah (PBUH) said: ‘Whoever wears a garment of fame and vanity in this world, Allah will clothe him in a garment of humiliation on the Day of Resurrection, then He will cause Fire to flame up around him.’” (Hijaab al-Mar’ah al-Muslimah, p. 54-67).

Moreover any jewelry or the sound of it should not be shown/heard, as it is a distraction.(eg.finger rings , bangles, anklets, bracelets etc.) 

It is haram to wear tightly fitting clothes which explain the parts of the body, especially those parts which are sexually attractive.
`Be not soft in speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease (of hypocrisy or evil desire for adultery, etc) should be moved with desire, but speak in an honorable manner.' (Surah Ahzab: This points towards rapport building and creating good relations with non mehrams by being extra soft spoken and artificial behavior.)
The heart is more pure when the sight is blocked (by hijab) and thus the prevention of fitna (evil actions is very much manifested. The hijab cuts off the ill thoughts and the greed of the sick hearts: 

Surah Al-Ahzab (33:59) states: "O Prophet [PBUH] Tell thy wives and daughters and the believing women that they should put on their outer garments; that is most convenient in order that THEY MAY BE RECOGNIZED (as Muslims) and not be molested."
THE BENEFITS OF HIJAB (COVERING) FOR WOMEN :
The HIJAB IS A SORT OF "SCREEN" BETWEEN THE CHASTE MUSLIM WOMAN AND THE EVIL THAT EXISTS IN THE WORLD. When a woman wears a hijab she is less likely to be harassed by men with lusty motives; SHE IS LESS LIKELY TO BE EXPLOITED FOR HER BEAUTY AND FEMINITY.

AN ACT OF OBEDIENCE 
And whoever disobeys Allah and His Messenger, has indeed strayed in a plain error.' (S33:36). 
The Muslim woman does not try to impress anyone but Allah wherever she is and so she will strive to adhere by HIS orders in order to reach her goal. The hijab cuts down on competition among women. Many people in the West sacrifice financial savings and health in order to have plastic surgery , joining gyms - in a desperate attempt to meet up to an unrealistic standard of beauty. IN ISLAM, WOMEN ARE APPRECIATED FOR THEIR KNOWLEDGE, PIETY AND CONTRIBUTION TO SOCIETY. When women wear hijab one finds that the most beautiful women are not necessarily the most popular. .Muslim women should be a practical example to tell people that they will have to judge her for her intelligence, personality, and character, and not just superficial physical traits or appearance 

Aisha (RA), the wife of the prophet (pbuh), addressed some women from the tribe of Banu Tameem who came to visit her and had light clothes on them, they were improperly dressed: "If indeed you are believing women, then truly this is not the dress of the believing women, and if you are not believing women, then enjoy it." 

THE HIJAB IS HAYA' (BASHFULNESS) There are two authentic hadith which state: "Each religion has a morality and the morality of Islam is haya'" AND "Bashfulness is from belief, and belief is in Al-Jannah (paradise)". The hijab fits the natural bashfulness which is a part of the nature of women.
The main aim of hijab is to stop fitnah; females who are attractive by nature attract the gaze of males which then leads to other greater sins such as fornication and adultery. Allah commanded women neither to display their adornment nor to display any form of behavior that might attract the attention of men. 
If jilbab is worn with intention of worldly praise the reward of worldly aims is given in this life and no reward will be given after death and such women are found manipulating this Islamic dress code as their intention is not ‘Taqwa’ The jilbab is the very long coat, which covers from the shoulders to the ankles and not upto the knees as seen now a days.
The believing women of the prophets time clearly didnt dress with this 'modern hijab' which has totally been influenced by western culture. Islam can never change, whether people classify it as outdated or traditional

Anyone who disputes in the prescribed guidelines should keep it to themselves because each one will be accountable for his own actions. Here all evidence is from the Quran and sunnah. Allah says: 
“It is not for a believer, man or woman, when Allaah and His Messenger have decreed a matter that they should have any option in their decision. And whoever disobeys Allaah and His Messenger, he has indeed strayed into a plain error” [al-Ahzaab 33:36] 
*Clothing must cover the entire body, only the hands and face may remain visible (According to some Fiqh Schools) 
*Islam protects the woman. It is for this reason that Allah gave these laws. In today's society womankind is being exploited, female sexuality is being openly used in advertising, mainly to attract the desires of men and therefore sell the product or services.
*Allah has given us guidance through the Quran and Sunnah, He also given us the logic and commonsense to apply these in our everyday life. However, Allah is not unreasonable and understands the mankind’s weakness and to this I will refer you to the hadith in Sahih Al-Bukhari.The Prophet said, "Religion (Islam) is very easy and whoever overburdens himself in his religion will not be able to continue in that way. So you should not be extremists, but try to be near perfection and receive the good tidings that you will be rewarded; and gain strength by offering the prayers in the mornings, afternoons and during the last hour of the night." [1:38-O.B.]
When men dress to be respected, they wear a business suit that covers them to throat, wrist, and ankle, and they keep their hair simple and plain. When women dress to be respected, shouldn't they also cover to throat, wrist, and ankle, and make sure that their hair is not a decoration? 
Surah an-Nur : 31 and Surah al-Ahzab :59.
And say to the faithful women to lower their gazes, and to guard their private parts, and not to display their beauty except what is apparent of it, and to extend their headcoverings (khimars) to cover their bosoms, and not to display their beauty except to their husbands, or their fathers, or their husband's fathers, or their sons, or their husband's sons, or their brothers, or their brothers' sons, or their sisters' sons, or their womenfolk, or what their right hands rule (slaves), or the followers from the men who do not feel sexual desire, or the small children to whom the nakedness of women is not apparent, and not to strike their feet (on the ground) so as to make known what they hide of their adornments. And turn in repentance to God together, O you the faithful, in order that you are successful.
What does "what is apparent of it" mean? This is one of the passages in the Quran that is explained by the sunnah . 
When muslim women are obliged to wear the Hijab without truly pondering over its superiority and lack of fear of Allah they fail to follow these guidelines. Why? Because they observe these misguided disbelievers attempting to look beautiful for all to see. Hence, the Muslim woman then compares herself to that woman which causes her to feel ashamed of her own Hijab.
Muhammed (PBUH) said , "Allah is modest and covering. He loves modesty and privacy." [Abu Daawood, An-Nasaa'i Al-Bayhaqi, Ahmad].
Therefore, we see that the Hijab is indeed a part of modesty. Muhammed (PBUH) said: "Modesty is part of Eemaan and Eemaan is in Paradise." [At-Tirmithi]. Also: "Modesty and Eemaan are companions, when one goes away the other one goes away." [Al-Haakim]
It can be quite difficult for the woman to go out wearing Hijab in a society that mocks and torments her. Indeed, she may feel strange and out of place. However, if she knows the status of those who are mocked by the disbelievers,(in Allah’s sight) then she would continue to wear her Hijab with dignity.
Do not be envious of the disbelieving women. Such lewd women will not even smell the fragrance of Paradise; so our women must avoid their path. They only have this life to enjoy, while the believing women will have Paradise. There is nothing in your Hijab to be ashamed of, as it is the garment of the righteous and pious female worshippers of Allah. 
Allah Says :The criminals used to laugh at those who believed. And whenever they passed them, used to wink at one another. And when they returned to their own people, they would return jesting. When they saw them, they said: 'These have indeed gone astray!' But they (disbelievers, sinners) had not been sent as watchers over them (the believers). But on this Day those who believe will laugh at the disbelievers. On (high) thrones, looking (at all things). Are not the disbelievers paid (fully) for what they used to do?" [Quran 83:29-36]
Covering the feet is something that is prescribed for women and is in fact obligatory for them according to many scholars.Either with her garment which is long and covers them or by wearing socks or shoes.
PROPER HIJAB IS :
1. An act of OBEDIENCE to The CREATOR
2. An act of HONOR and DIGNITY
3. An act of BELIEF and FAITH
4. An act of MODESTY
5. An act of PURITY
6. An act of BASHFULNESS
7. An act of RIGHTEOUSNESS
8. A SHIELD

The Obligatory Conditions For An Islamic Hijab

1. Covering ALL Of The Body

It is an agreed position by many respected scholars that the face and hands of the woman must be covered. Some scholars say it is permissible to uncover the face and the hands of the woman as long as there is no fitnah (infatuation) caused by this action. Two things must be taken into consideration

If she is beautiful and beautifies her face and hands with external substances, or

The society around her is corrupt where men do not lower their gaze, then it is prohibited for her to uncover her face and hands.

On the authority of the wife of the prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), Umm Salamah said:

"When the verse was revealed that they should cast their outer garments over their bodies' was revealed, the women of Ansar came out as if they had crows over their heads by wearing outer garments.

2. The hijab must not be a display

The hijab itself must not be a display. Allah ordained it so as to cover the beauty of women and not for showing off. Allah says:

"And not show of their adornment except only that which is apparent." [Noble Quran 24:31].

AND

"And stay in your houses and do not display yourselves like that of the times of ignorance." [Noble Quran 33:33].

It is in no way logical that the hijab itself be a source of display.

3. The hijab must not be transparent

The purpose of wearing hijab must be achieved. In order for the hijab to be a cover, it must not be made of transparent material making the woman covered only by name, while in reality she is naked. The prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) is quoted as saying:

"In the latest part of my Ummah (nation of Muslims) there shall be women who would be naked in spite of being dressed, they have their hair high like the humps of the Bukht camel, curse them, for they are cursed. They will not enter Al-Jannah and would not even perceive its odor, although it's fragrance can be perceived from a distance of 500 years traveling by camel"

This indicates that a woman could cause herself a grave and destructive sin if she puts on a garment that is thin and transparent and which clearly shapes her body's features.

4. Hijab must be roomy, and not tight.

The hijab is a safeguard against fitnah. If it is tight, it will be descriptive of the woman's body and this violates and defeats the whole purpose of hijab.

5. The hijab must not be perfumed

On the authority of Ad-Diya' Al-Maqdisi, the prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:

"Any woman who perfumes herself and passes by some people that they smell her scent, then she is a Zaniyah (adulteress)."

6. The hijab shouldn't resemble the dress of a man

Imam Ahmed, an-Nasa'i reported the prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) to have said:

"Women who assume the manners of men are not from us and also those of men who assume the manners of women."

Abu Hurairah narrated that: "The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) CURSED the man who wears the dress of a woman and the woman who wears the dress of a man."

7. The hijab must not resemble the garments of the Kuffar

Abu Dawud and Ahmed have related the prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:

"The one who take the similitude (manner) of a certain people, then he/she becomes one of them."

Abdullah bin Umar said: "The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) saw me wearing two garments dyed in saffron (orange), whereupon he said: these are the clothes (usually worn) by the Kuffar, so do not wear them."

8. The hijab should not be for fame

Abu Dawud and Ibn Majah have related the prophet to saying:

"The one who wears a garment designed for a worldly fame, Allah will make them wear a garment of humility on the Day Of Resurrection then he will be set ablaze."

The garment of fame is any garment a person wears to make themselves look famous. This applies whether the garment is highly precious and shows admiration to the life of this world or if it is chosen of a low quality to show lack of interest to this worldly life. The person may put on clothes with distinct colors so as to draw attention, act proudly and/or arrogantly.

9. Concealed ways of display

Examining the various conditions about the hijab one can clearly recognize that many of the young Muslim women are not fulfilling these conditions. Many just take "half-way" measures, which not only mocks the community in which she lives, but also mocks the commands of Allah. They consider what they put on now wrongly as "hijab" So, O Muslims, be mindful to Allah and His Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him), and do not deceived by those who "bless" this action of yours and conceal their true intentions. Do not be deceived, and there is no excuse to follow the evil.

HERE IS MY HAND IN YOUR HAND, I SHALL NOT SLEEP UNTIL YOU ARE PLEASED.

--------------- ---

The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:
“If a woman does her five (daily prayers), fasts her month (Ramadaan), guards her chastity and obeys her husband, it will be said to her: Enter whichever of the gates of Paradise you want.”

Narrated by Ahmad (1/191).

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah beupon him) said:
“Shall I not tell you about your men in Paradise?” We said: Yes, O Messenger of Allaah. He said: “The Prophet will be in Paradise, the Siddeeq will be in Paradise, the man who visits his brother who lives far away and visits him only for the sake of Allaah will be in Paradise. Shall I not tell you about your women in Paradise?” We said: Yes, O Messenger of Allaah. He said: “The loving and fertile one who, if she gets angry or is mistreated or her husband gets angry says,
HERE IS MY HAND IN YOUR HAND, I SHALL NOT SLEEP UNTIL YOU ARE PLEASED.

Narrated by al-Tabaraani in al-Mu’jam al-Awsat (2/206). It was also narrated from a number of other Sahaabah, hence it was classed as hasan by al-Albaani in al-Silsilah al-Saheehah (3380) and in Saheeh al-Targheeb (1942).

And it was narrated from Husayn ibn Muhsin (may Allaah be pleased with him) that his paternal aunt went to the Messenger of Allaah(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) concerning some need and he met her need, then he said: “Do you have a husband?” She said: Yes. He said: “How are you with him?” She said: I do what he tells me, except what is beyond me. He said: “Look at how you are with him, for he is your Paradise and your Hell.”

Narrated by Ahmad (4/341). The editors of al-Musnad said: Its isnaad may be understoodto be hasan. al-Mundhiri said: A jayyid (good) isnaad. It was classed as saheeh by al-Haakim in al-Mustadrak (6/383) and al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Targheeb (1933).
Al-Manaawi said in Fayd al-Qadeer (3/60):

i.e., he is the cause of your entering Paradise if he is pleased with you, and the cause of your entering Hell if he is displeased with you.
So treat him well and do not disobey his commands with regard to that which is not a sin. End quote.

It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:

“The most perfect of the believers in faith is the one who is best in attitude, and the best of you is the one who is best in attitude towards his womenfolk.”

Narrated by al-Tirmidhi (1162);

HERE IS MY HAND IN YOUR HAND, I SHALL NOT SLEEP UNTIL YOU ARE PLEASED.

Allahu Akbar!!!.....

~**~ May Allah preserve the love and happiness between spouses, and fill the houses of all Muslims with good companionship and kind treatment. Aameen!~

Modern and Stylish Hijab does not serve the purpose of Actual Hijab

A sister wrote once :”I watched a video lately about how to tie a Hijab!!!!! YES! Now there is an “art” of tying the Hijab, and it’s not al Hijab al shar’i (the Islamic Hijab) of course, but this is a “stylish” Hijab which shaytan beautify it in front of them and whispered them to wear it!! It comes with different colors and looks! Yes!There are different ways to wear this “Hijab”: There is one with layers, one with big flower(s) one the side, one with very attractive colors, one with accessories, one which looks like camel hump, one which sparkles, one with golden and silver design, etc, …. and many many others which take much time to be tied. Unfortunately, many sisters spend hours watching videos to learn the “proper” steps of tying this kind of “Hijab”!! Some others even go to hair stylish (in some Arabic countries) to tie these scarves (in “special” occasions) and pay money for that! The funny thing is that these “Hijabs” attract attention more than the natural uncover hair does!!! But is this
the Hijab Allah ordered Muslimat to wear in Qur’an?!!! Does this “Hijab” please Allah? Of course not!!! Why does Allah order Muslimat to wear Hijab: to attract eyes or to protect her from them?! If the scarf the Muslimah wears isn’t loose enough and does not cover her arms and chest so what will be the purpose of wearing it?!! THINK!