Internet relationships
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QUESTION:
I am a female college student. My problem is that I have gotten to know a young man over the internet. In the beginning the relationship was one of respect and exchanging information, until it turned into love. My mother rejects the idea of me marrying him, and she has threatened to tell my father about this relationship. I cannot do without him and he feels the same way, because he has told me that he will commit suicide if we cannot get married.
I hope that you can advise me. I cannot be apart from him and he does not.
ANSWER :
Praise be to Allaah.
Note – may Allaah bless you – that our great religion firmly warns us against forming relationships between the sexes outside the framework of marriage and firmly closes the door to the calamity of introduction programs that are propagated by means of newspapers, magazines and the internet. These warnings are a means of warding off fitnah (temptation and tribulation) and preventing love affairs which usually lead people to commit acts of grave immorality and transgression of the sacred limits set by Allaah – Allaah forbid – or they lead them to marriages that end in failure and are filled with suspicion and mistrust.
First of all, you made a mistake by entering the chat room before knowing what the Islamic ruling on that is. Then you made another mistake by forming a relationship and friendship with a young man who is not related to you.
Beware of making a third mistake by marrying him because he claims to love you sincerely and you are afraid that he may commit suicide!
Marriage that is not based on a sound Islamic foundation is doomed to end in failure and regret. A young man who has spent all this time forming a relationship with a girl through chat rooms and telephone calls is in fact a young man who has no religious commitment, modesty or manners, and he cannot be entrusted with the honour of the Muslims. His threat to commit suicide means one of two things:
Either he is sincere in his threat, which means that he is very weak in faith, because killing oneself is a major sin – may Allaah keep us safe and sound;
Or he is lying, which means that he is a hateful opportunist and a fool, as well as a selfish individual who cares only for his own personal interests.
If you were to marry this person, it would not take very long before suspicions arose which would lead to him losing trust in you and not having a peaceful or relaxed life with you. From his point of view, a girl whom he gets to know through talking on the phone or through chat rooms cannot be trusted not to form relationships with others. This will occupy his thoughts and make him anxious.
Finally, you should note that this advice which we are offering to you is based on sincere concern for you. You should learn a lesson from the experience of other girls who have fallen victim to love relationships and lost their honour as a result. You should give up this young man immediately and repent to Allaah and ask His forgiveness, and praise Him for saving you from committing immoral actions even though the means that lead to them are easily available. You should also praise Him for putting obstacles in the way of this marriage, through your family’s refusal. Start a new life filled with purity and chastity, regret and prayers for forgiveness, keeping away from the things that lead to temptation and immorality. Do a lot of righteous deeds, read a great deal of Qur’aan, and attend many righteous gatherings. With time, your relationship with this person will fade, for it is based on emotions that are not based on shar’i guidelines or wise thinking. Beware lest the Shaytaan ensnare you and makes you think that you cannot forget or sever the relationship forever; these are just whispers and tricks, and devilish attempts to keep you in the hell of love and emotion, and distract you from the higher aims of sincere devotion and submission to Allaah and constant striving to please Him. We ask Allaah to give you a way out from your distress and anxiety.
Dr Riyaadh al-Musaymeeri.
FATWA:21933
Etiquette, Morals and Heart-Softeners » Manners » Relationships between the two genders
Saturday, June 8, 2013
The highest example of peace! The unequalled paragon of mercy!!!!! See the example of Religious Harmony in Islam
CONQUEST OF MACCA was a great incident that was occurred in the Islamic history. It was known as the bloodless conquest. When the conquest of Macca was complete!, there, before the prophet of mercy stood a multitude of people; dazed; uncertainty hanging over them.
Who were these people?
1. These were the people who had chased the prophet out of his homeland for the only reason that he spoke the truth.
2. These were the people who had cast the rotting entrails of camel onto his neck even as he was engaged in prayer.
3. These were the people who had stoned him out of their precincts
4. Here was Wahshi who, at Uhud, had betrayed and killed his dear uncle, Hmaza (RA), the lion of Islam.
5. Here, b4 him, stood the women who had shown the greatest animosity towards Islam, who had cut off the noses and ears of the Muslim dead and had worn them on as necklaces
6. Here was Hind who had ripped open the body of that Lion of Islam and had taken out and chewed upon his raw liver, rejoicing threat, on the battle field.
7. Here were the people who had tortured and persecuted the believers.
8. Here were the people who had savagely murdered Sumayya
9. These were the people who had so cruelly killed Yassir
10. These were the people who had tortured Bilal and Ammar.
11. These were the people who had tried, and failed, to destroy the true religion with all the means at their disposal.
There was no authority in their hands on that day. There were no swords that can be raised high in their defense. There was not the wicked whip to torture and maim. But all that does confront them from every side was the thousands of armed warriors ever ready to carry out any command of the prophet.
At a word from the prophet their heads would roll at his feet. Thousands would be ready to chew upon and spit out their liver. The intestines of camels would adorn their necks.
But all humility did the prophet ask, “what do u expect at my hands, this day’?
Came the pathetic reply, “Mercy, for you are a nobleman and the son of nobleman”.
The great exemplar of mercy, of pity, of love and sympathy, forthwith, commanded,
“GO FORTH, FOR YOU ARE ALL FREE THIS DAY.”
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
HIS LOVE
Prophet (PBUH) had ignored the practice of a Jewish woman who used to spit at him daily. One day, however, as he passed by his usual route, he was surprised to see that no spit had fallen upon him. “WHERE HAS MY FRIEND GONE FOR SHE HAS NOT COME OUT TO SEE ME TODAY’? he enquired. On hearing she was ill, he visited her and gave her company at her sickbed and pryaed for her to get a fast recovery.
He never cursed those who spoke ill of him; never took revenge upon those who tortured him. But we see that he ever prayed for those stoned and chased him away...
ISLAM IS THE RELIGION OF PEACE, MERCY AND LOVE NOT OF HATRED, REVENGE AND TERRORISM...
Who were these people?
1. These were the people who had chased the prophet out of his homeland for the only reason that he spoke the truth.
2. These were the people who had cast the rotting entrails of camel onto his neck even as he was engaged in prayer.
3. These were the people who had stoned him out of their precincts
4. Here was Wahshi who, at Uhud, had betrayed and killed his dear uncle, Hmaza (RA), the lion of Islam.
5. Here, b4 him, stood the women who had shown the greatest animosity towards Islam, who had cut off the noses and ears of the Muslim dead and had worn them on as necklaces
6. Here was Hind who had ripped open the body of that Lion of Islam and had taken out and chewed upon his raw liver, rejoicing threat, on the battle field.
7. Here were the people who had tortured and persecuted the believers.
8. Here were the people who had savagely murdered Sumayya
9. These were the people who had so cruelly killed Yassir
10. These were the people who had tortured Bilal and Ammar.
11. These were the people who had tried, and failed, to destroy the true religion with all the means at their disposal.
There was no authority in their hands on that day. There were no swords that can be raised high in their defense. There was not the wicked whip to torture and maim. But all that does confront them from every side was the thousands of armed warriors ever ready to carry out any command of the prophet.
At a word from the prophet their heads would roll at his feet. Thousands would be ready to chew upon and spit out their liver. The intestines of camels would adorn their necks.
But all humility did the prophet ask, “what do u expect at my hands, this day’?
Came the pathetic reply, “Mercy, for you are a nobleman and the son of nobleman”.
The great exemplar of mercy, of pity, of love and sympathy, forthwith, commanded,
“GO FORTH, FOR YOU ARE ALL FREE THIS DAY.”
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
HIS LOVE
Prophet (PBUH) had ignored the practice of a Jewish woman who used to spit at him daily. One day, however, as he passed by his usual route, he was surprised to see that no spit had fallen upon him. “WHERE HAS MY FRIEND GONE FOR SHE HAS NOT COME OUT TO SEE ME TODAY’? he enquired. On hearing she was ill, he visited her and gave her company at her sickbed and pryaed for her to get a fast recovery.
He never cursed those who spoke ill of him; never took revenge upon those who tortured him. But we see that he ever prayed for those stoned and chased him away...
ISLAM IS THE RELIGION OF PEACE, MERCY AND LOVE NOT OF HATRED, REVENGE AND TERRORISM...
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